When you feel at a loss.

When you feel at a loss. Like there is no reason, no hope, no pain...just sadness taking you over. Eating you up inside. Until someone close to you brings it up, and you feel muted, because what you want to say and what you want to be heard, won’t come out. It’s locked up inside you, it doesn’t want to come out. Because if it came out, it would be unexpected, unwelcomed, uninvited. You’re scared yourself of what would out, if anything did come out. You’re always kept it in, you’re secrets, you’re thoughts, you’re anger, you’re hatred, you’re sadness, you’re true happiness, the truth. But that truth came out a while ago. And since then, the secret turned into a deep sadness. That sadness still lingers around you, looking at you, following your trail. It knows the real you more that you know yourself. It sees you from outside, it knows your true colours. Once this sadness disappears, who knows what’s lurking underneath. The person knows what they want, but they don’t say. They know how they feel, buy they can’t describe. They know how to act, just to be brave. They cover it up. They cover who they truly are. Why ? ... because they were never allowed to be the real them. They felt ashamed of who they were, ashamed of their past. This shame is their only love. A love they seek the truth in. They have no voice. But the ears they have hears it all. Why do you need a voice when you can hear. One day, that person will hear what they want to hear. Until then, they keep it inside, more secrets, more lies, more anger ... until they find their voice. A voice people will be scared of. A voice people will not want to hear. A voice people will be weary and scared of.  With that voice, comes the figure. The face of sadness. A sadness so misunderstood, it will bring its audience to a stand still. To tears ... tears of pity. When will it end. You’ll have to wait and see. . . for when that day comes, you will have never felt such great happiness and joy in your life. A joy so immense, you forget you were ever sad.

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